fear of unknown

This photo reminds me of an interesting experience in my 3-day trip to Hualien (花蓮), the west coast of Taiwan early this month.

Myriam, Rodolphe, and I decided to walk from TienHsiang back to Taruko (17 kms) the second day of our trip, since we arrived Taruko in the late evening and didn't see much scenery on the way up to TienHsiang.

This photo was taken before we went thru this TienHsiang Turnel (天祥隧道). I didn't expect this turnel didn't have lights installed and was so long that we walked almost all the way in the dark like blinds. Only when cars driving thru, which were not much, did we see the road via the car lights. My eyes were completely useless in the dark turnel. While in the dark, my fear raised from nowhere and I found myself using my right arm leaning tightly against the wall as the senser for the direction. I walked very slowly with cautious and sometimes hestiated stepping forward. However, when with the dim lights, I saw the road, felt relieved, and fasten my steps. Interestingly, I started realising how deeply I had been counting on my eyes for sensing and experiencing this world, plus how coward I was when facing the unknown...

How about life? I keep complaining my current life but don't or haven't dared to change it! Is it also due to my fear of unknown?

Merry Christmas

This Christmas eve, I prepared the Christmas gifts for each of my families though we are not Christians and I have not been the fan of Christmas celebration for years. I don't know why I did so... anyway, my second niece has joined this world since this May and her father is currently having the 2-month overseas assignment and her mother has to work late usually on Fridays and... whatever..., so I decided to become the Santa Claus that night and celebrate the Christmas with these two little cute angels. Interestingly, I felt very contented when arranging these gifts under the plastic Christmas tree decorated with lights, bells, and candies that their mother set up a week ago...

Another funny thing was that I also received great Christmas presents from friends, in a virtual way: a funny talk with my lesbian friend and some emails from some of my favorite friends, including a great Christmas present from K: a cute blog and a synical but cool comment about Shanghai.

So happy to receive K's response cause I was so worried about his disappearing and being in his down time too long. Now, at least, I am aware that he's staying alive and kicking and so delighted to see his arrogance's coming back little by little...

I also feel happy receiving P's greetings though it's a pity we couldn't meet each other before his leaving Taiwan...

This Christmas, I was both happy and lonely and oddly I enjoy it ...

Sake

My preference of warmed sake having a better taste than the chilled one is defeated by myself again tonight in a Japanese restaurant. The Japanese friend introduced two different kinds of Japanese sake (chilled, of course) to us and confirmed that the poor quality of sake can be disguised by serving in warm. This reminds me of the discussion about the sake temperature in June with K... Is he ready to come back from the down time?

okay, back to the dinner... sitting between the Norwegian and French guys, two of my favorite languges, discussing about the Sophie's World and Freud, enjoying the tasty Japanese food and sake... all and all, brought me back to my study in Newcastle upon Tyne in 1996... ahh...I want to be a student again....